To Catch A Chocobo
by InyrilJace
Summary: Zack Fair is a newly promoted 3rd Class SOLDIER on his first solo mission. Yet the mission is not what he expected and Zack finds his hatred of chocobos being revived.


**A/N: This was written for a group contest over on deviantArt. The contest is still running at the moment, so I don't know how well I did or anything yet. I will let you know when I find out! ^^**

* * *

Zack sighed dejectedly and stubbed his toe into the ground before him. This sucked. No, this was beyond sucking. This was worse than the times his mother punished him for something he hadn't done. Honestly, sometimes a small monster really _did_ get into the cookie jar!

Lifting his glowing blue eyes, he stared out across the open fields. Nothing but moderately long grass waving at him, as though mocking his predicament. Zack scowled and returned to jabbing the dirt with the toe of his already scuffed and soiled boot. After everything he had worked for, this was the treatment he got? Why? What had he done to deserve this?

A _wark_ sounded from behind him right before something sharp pecked at his hip. Zack yelped and spun around, the sudden movement causing the chocobo to dart a few paces away, watching him warily.

"Stupid creature," Zack muttered with an uncharacteristically dark expression. "Stupid field, stupid flock, stupid stupid mission!"

The large golden bird gave another _wark_ before edging a step closer, its head tilted curiously to the side. Zack sighed and tried to ignore it as his eyes roamed for something – anything – to break the monotony of his intense suffering.

Nothing.

Zack was a newly promoted Third Class SOLDIER. This was his first solo mission, long awaited and anticipated by the black-haired, bouncy youth. Yet it was shaping up to be very disappointing in all regards.

Zack had been put in charge of guarding a chocobo flock while the normal caretakers were away on a holiday. He had protested loudly at the prospect of such a task, but to no avail. Apparently, some of the birds in this particular flock were owned by President Shinra's spoilt son, Rufus. Monsters were becoming more prolific in the area and taking down livestock at any chance. As such, the boy had requested a SOLDIER's protection of his precious birds. To shut his brat up, the president had given in and issued the order.

Desperate to see some action and prove himself worthy of a better solo mission next time, Zack had begged for his mission details to be changed. Surely it would be more effective for him to be hunting the monsters down, rather than just standing around waiting for them to come to him! What a waste of a SOLDIER's time!

Yet Lazard had not listened and Zack's only friend in the higher-ups, Angeal, had simply chuckled and told him to make the best of it. Even Kunsel had laughed at him! Why? It wasn't fair! Kunsel's solo mission was to oversee a shipment of valuable materials that was coming in from Corel.

So why did Zack get stuck with the dodgy mission? His last name was Fair, so why did no-one see fit to treat him that way?

"Look at it this way, Zack," Angeal had said before Zack left for the mission, finally taking pity on the poor boy. "Treat it as a patience training exercise. ShinRa needs to know that you are capable of long, arduous missions that seem absolutely fruitless. This is the perfect opportunity to increase your patience. And believe me, patience is a very important skill to have as a SOLDIER! Only being in an impatient situation can teach you patience."

"Yeah right. 'Cause I really wanna be learning patience right now," Zack grumbled to himself and kicked a clod of grass out of the ground.

So here he was, sword slung on his back, sweat dotting his brow as the all-too-cheery sun glowed down on him with the precious flock lazily strewn out across the large field. Oh joy.

Zack glared at the chocobo as it started sidling closer to him. The large bird had a stupid but curious expression on its face. Angeal would have said that it resembled Zack and the young SOLDIER scowled at that thought.

The chocobo made an odd noise deep in its throat and lowered its head, tilting it to the side. Unable to resist the adorable expression – despite the fact that he was annoyed – Zack reached out and scratched the bird's head. The chocobo began to warble softly and leant in to the touch.

Encouraged by this positive reaction, Zack lifted his other hand to scratch. Lost in the mesmerising joy of such attention, the chocobo closed its eyes. Zack grinned to himself and changed the spot where he was scratching slightly. Immediately, the chocobo raised a wing and began to kick at the ground with it's leg. The happy noises coming from its throat increased in volume and it's beak opened slightly.

Zack chuckled softly.

"Huh. You're not so bad, I guess."

A potentially catastrophic idea began to form in the young SOLDIER's mind. Glancing around despite the fact that he knew no-one else was around, Zack edged closer to the bird. One hand continued to scratch while the other gently stroked its back. Zack judged the distance from the ground, the width of the bird and the weight of himself before putting his plan into action.

Bending his knees slightly, he launched himself into the air.

The golden chocobo had no time to react. One moment it was enjoying a blissful petting, the next it was staggering around and trying not to lost its footing as a monstrous weight settled across its back, clutching its precious feathers.

The chocobo gave a rather displeased _wark_ and turned its head to glare back at Zack. Rather proud of himself, Zack grinned widely back. The bird pecked sharply at his boot but Zack did not flinch. The chocobo would never get through the thick leather.

"C'mon, Birdie. Let's go for a ride!"

Trying to encourage cooperation, Zack reached forward and scratched the side of the chocobo's head once more. The bird eagerly leant into the touch before seeming to resign itself to its fate. Zack squeezed his legs gently and the bird obeyed the command.

The chocobo shot forward like a rocket. With a yell, Zack tumbled rather ungracefully to the ground. Somehow untangling the mess of arms, legs and sword, he managed to pick himself up and scowl at the rather smug looking bird.

Now Zack remembered why he hated chocobos. They were arrogant, idiotic creatures and never did what you wanted them to!

"Okay," Zack snarled as he slowly advanced towards the bird once more. "If that's how you wanna play, then let's play!"

He leaped into the air, aiming for the bird's back. Zack could have sworn the chocobo raised an eyebrow before simply shuffling to the side and allowing him to land in the dirt, cursing. Not deterred just yet, Zack swung around and lunged. The chocobo squawked and darted away, only just managing to avoid the young SOLDIER's grasp.

The next half hour was spent by Zack angrily chasing the bird around the field, his curses becoming more unique and colourful. The chocobo continued to evade this odd human, somewhat amused than no matter how many times the youth failed, he still came back for more punishment.

"Stupid feather puff!" Zack snarled as he once again missed the chocobo. Honestly! This was just getting ridiculous.

Laughter cut through his angry broodings and Zack swung around with clenched fists, ready to take out his frustrations on whoever had dared stray onto his mission grounds! He faltered however as he saw the owner of the laugh.

"Wow! I don't think I've ever seen anyone fail so much at trying to catch a chocobo!"

A young girl walked towards him, a broad grin spread across her face. Her hair was a straw blonde colour and she had a light dusting of freckles across her nose and cheekbones. Brown eyes sparkled with mirth as she drew nearer to the young SOLDIER, her thumbs hooked into the belt loops of her jeans.

"This is private property," Zack said as he tried to regain his dignity. "You are not allowed to be here."

"Ah." The girl waved a hand absently. "I cut across this field all the time. Never got into any trouble about it before. Ain't never seen you here before, either." Her eyes glanced over the sword on his back. "Expecting them to start attacking you or something?"

Zack drew himself up a little straighter and lifted his chin slightly. Who cares if this girl was adorable and hot? She was undermining his authority!

"I'm a SOLDIER. This is standard uniform," he informed her seriously. The girl arched an eyebrow and looked him up and down.

"A SOLDIER? Then what's a SOLDIER like you doing chasing a chocobo like that around a field like this? Ain't you trespassing, too?"

"No, I'm meant to be here! It's my mission to protect this flock from all viable threats!" Zack nodded proudly and allowed a small smirk on his face. Surely, she would be impressed by that! After all, she was just a simple girl. All girls got giddy at the thought of a SOLDIER on a mission.

"Bwuahaha! What? Your mission is to be a chocobo herder for a day? Ahahaha!"

Obviously not this girl. Zack frowned in annoyance as the girl bent over, clutching at her stomach as the laughter consumed her. He did not find this very amusing! It was a mission, it had to be taken seriously! Even if it did suck. Why did everyone have to laugh at him?

"Oh, just go away! You're trespassing, remember?" Zack scowled and the girl slowly recovered from her laughing fit.

"Whatcha gonna do about me? What if I don't wanna leave?" she teased slyly.

"I have been authorised to use force, you know. I'll throw you off if I have to!" Zack declared.

"Yeah, but to do that first you'd have to catch me. And from what I've seen here already, I ain't got nothing to worry about!"

The girl dissolved into another bout of giggles and Zack's scowl deepened. Having had enough, he turned and stalked back towards the centre of the flock. He may as well take his job seriously, even if no-one else wanted to. Zack sighed and clenched his fists in frustration. This mission really sucked!

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry." The girl trotted up behind Zack. He stoutly ignored her. "Look, how 'bout this? I'll show you how to catch and ride a chocobo if you agree to take me out on a date."

Zack's head whipped around and he stared at the girl in utter shock.

"What?"

Had a girl really just asked him, Zack Fair, the indomitable ladies man, out on a date? Unheard of! Zack Fair always made the first move, not the other way around. Never the other way around! Yet from the look of amusement on the girl's face, Zack knew that he had heard correctly.

What was this world coming to?

"No!" Zack practically yelled. "I have more important things to do!"

"Like what, watch the birdies all day?"

"Ugh, you're so annoying! Just get lost!"

Zack stalked away his hands on his hips as he tried to ignore the infuriating laughter coming once more from the girl. Really, come on! The situation wasn't that funny. She didn't need to make such a big deal out of it.

A loud roar ripped through the air, shattering the peaceful landscape and sending the chocobo flock bolting in all directions. Zack gasped before wrenching his sword out and running against the flow of the birds. Finally! Just when he thought he might explode from frustration, there was something to take his frustration out on.

Three monsters leaped up out of the long grass, teeth bared as they charged after their prey. Spinning his sword around and letting out a yell, Zack jumped into the melee.

Steel rang against teeth as he collided with the first monster. Growls reverberated up the blade and through Zack's arm as the monster glared at him. Zack wrenched his sword out of the creature's deathly jaws and swung again. The monster snarled and hissed before striking at him but Zack countered the attack, stabbing through the creature's defence and pinning it to the ground.

Painful screams ripped out of the beast as it thrashed one last time before falling limp. Zack barely gave it another cursory glance before pulling his sword free and running after the other two monsters.

The girl gave a squeal of fear and Zack looked up, suddenly remembering her. Where was she? Was she alright? There! The girl clung to a chocobo's neck as her legs gripped the bird's side. Satisfied that she was not in immediate danger, Zack refocused his attentions on the monsters.

The second monster fell within moments of engaging with the wrathful Zack Fair. Feeling more energised and pumped, Zack took off after the third.

The monster leaped at a chocobo and would have tasted blood if something had not crashed into its side, sending it spinning off course. The beast got back to its feet and snarled wickedly as it lashed its tail back and forth.

Zack smirked and bounced on the balls of his feet, sword held ready in front of him.

"Come on, then. Let's see what you got!"

He slashed, stabbed, blocked, attacked and retreated. The monster bit, tore, swiped, recoiled and pounced. Ignoring the sweat that tried to drip into his eyes, Zack leaped forward with a combination of unrelenting blows before striking through the monster's last defence.

The beast fell, its body still in the last throes of death.

Standing over his fallen enemy, Zack spun his sword in victory before punching the air with it.

"Yeah!"

"Wow!" The girl slipped off the chocobo and ran up beside him. Her eyes no longer glittered with mirth but with awe. "That was amazing! How did you do that? It was incredible!"

Zack shrugged and slipped his sword onto his back before hooking his thumbs through his harness.

"I'm not a SOLDIER for nothing, you know," he said with more than just a touch of arrogance. The girl smiled widely as she stepped closer.

"Oh, I can see that."

Gripping Zack's face in her hands, she pulled him down and kissed him soundly on the mouth. Zack gasped as she released him and watched as she began to skip away through the grass.

"See ya!" the girl called over her shoulder with a wave.

Making a split second decision, Zack ran after her. Who cares if she asked him out first? The girl could kiss! Catching up to her, Zack lazily slung an arm around her shoulders.

"So, how about that date?"


End file.
